


it hurts to love you (but i still love you)

by lykxxn



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Depression, Epilogue What Epilogue, F/F, Insomnia, POV Second Person, Post-Mockingjay, WHATS THAT, Wordcount: 100-1.000, i wrote angst that isn't poetry!!, what's a happy ending??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 05:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11571090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lykxxn/pseuds/lykxxn
Summary: You know when she isn't doing well.





	it hurts to love you (but i still love you)

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written for The Hunger Games for, like, five years, so forgive me if any characterisations are a little off.
> 
> Title from 13 Beaches by Lana Del Rey

Sometimes, you wonder  _why_. Why put in all this effort? Why try? Is it even worth it in the end?

But there are moments, when you glance, see a flicker of hope, of  _happiness_ , on Johanna's face, when you see how much things are changing, how much you're  _helping_.

She fears that if she sleeps, she'll see them all die again: Wiress, Mags, Blight; so you lay awake with her, even when she stays awake all night, and you talk, try not to fall asleep, and when Haymitch frowns at you and tells you to sleep, you shake your head.

He wouldn't understand if you tried to explain. He never had anyone to care for like this. He's never fallen in love with a victor.

Not the way you're in love with Johanna.

As much as you want to tell her things will get better, they feel like empty words even in your thoughts, so you don't voice them.

She gets angry at you, yells at you, tells you to  _ **get out get out get out**_ and you respond softly with  _ **this is my house**_ and she scowls at you, trying not to give into tears and a sob that you know she is swallowing down.

You know when she isn't doing well. The word  _ **brainless**_ stops being part of her vocabulary.

You get angry with the world. Why  _her_? She doesn't deserve this.  _ **Everything will be OK, I swear it**_ but they feel like empty words and she shrugs at you because  _ **it doesn't feel like it**_ and the worst part is that she's right.

It feels hopeless, and you get to wondering  ** _will it be like this forever_**?

You hope not.


End file.
